Posted on April 11th, 2012
I can’t believe that I am actually typing the exciting yet unfamiliar words—LAST CHEMO TONIGHT! It has been such a crazy journey getting to this point and yet I don’t feel like the journey is totally over. God has been so faithful to provide every step of the way, right now as I head into 2–3 weeks of rough side-effects I need to remember that he will continue to be faithful to help me every day.
Josh and I really had to let go of any sense of schedule or control as we headed into my appointments today (although it’s not like we have felt like we have any control over anything lately!) We did have the opportunity to ask many of you to pray for wisdom and discernment for our wonderful doctor and I know that the Lord gave that to her as we met with her today. Here is the back story: When I emailed my doctor last week about my side effects, she wrote back and told me that she was considering not having me complete my last round of chemo. She was concerned with the long term side effects that I have been experiencing. Most concerning are my tingly fingers and toes and extreme cold sensitivity; I had to wear mittens around the house and some of you Mount Hermon friends even got to see me bust out my skiing gloves, that upon first glance, might have looked like a way to protect myself from my two little ninjas! I also have been fighting peeling feet and hands and a few other side effects that make me wonder if this is really my body or if I am wearing some kind of crazy body suit like Robin Williams wore in Mrs. Doubtfire.
So we had no idea what Dr. Cho Phan was going to prescribe today. I think I had hopes that I really wouldn’t need the last round of chemo, but those were always coupled with a trace of fear that I might regret not doing everything possible to get any microscopic cells. It is a complicated process to figure out how much chemo (read poison) to take because you always have to walk the line between the cancer eradicating effects and the hard-core side effects that could cause problems in future. I was so thankful that I did not have to shoulder this decision. Josh and I continue to rest in the fact that we have a relationship with Jesus who is all-knowing and all-powerful. Thank you so much to those of you who prayed that God would infuse my doctor with wisdom today, I am confident that he did and that we are taking the best course of action.
So right now (at 6:45pm on Wed. 4/11) I am sitting in what is called the ITA, getting my last infusion of Oxaliplatin. My doctor decided to reduce my dose of both of my chemotherapies so that they are still effective, but will hopefully not bring on as many side effects. I also found out that I can have my last, minor surgery in around 4 weeks! (sometime around May 10th) I am the most excited about this quick surgery because after that I will really be ALL DONE with this treatment plan. Watch out world, here I come!
I’m getting more and more tired and nauseous as I write this so I’d better say TTFN, but here are a few quick prayer requests:
- For minimal side-effects tonight and in the next 2–3 weeks, specifically that I will be able to use my fingers
- That we can easily schedule a surgery date that works well for everyone involved
- That my cancer will NEVER come back in any form, and that I won’t live in fear of this (I’ll write more on this next time, but it is the new faith-journey that I will be walking with the Lord)